7 Marks of a True and Faithful Friend (Part 1)

One of the greatest gifts in the world is a true friend: someone who chooses to love you even though they have no obligation to and who is there for you even when they can’t be here with you. When you find someone like that, you want to hold tight to them, because a faithful friend is a priceless treasure.

But how do you know when you’ve found one? 

I can think of at least seven qualities that mark a true and faithful friend. Whether you’re searching for a friend or seeking to be one, hopefully these will help give you an idea of what to look for and what to grow into.

1. sincere

We all need people who cheer us on when we win, who don’t see us as competition, and who believe in us when we take big, bold steps. And just as importantly, we need people to sit with us in our doubt, acknowledge our pain, and hold our hands through heartbreak and disappointment. 

— Kendall Mariah

A true friend cares about you to the degree that your joys and sorrows mean as much to him as his own. He encourages you when you’re dragging low and celebrates with you when you’re flying high. He doesn’t envy your achievements, but rejoices with you sincerely. 

While a friend will be present for the highs and lows, he’s also there through the in-between. Something doesn’t need to be a major event in your life for a friend to want you to share it with him; if it matters to you, it matters to him too.

2. safe

Carry one another’s burdens; in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.  

— Galatians 6:2 (CSB)

When you’re troubled, a true friend provides a safe place for you to share what’s weighing you down. She doesn’t see you as a burden. She doesn’t roll her eyes and think, Oh no, here you come again. Far from it—a friend feels honored that you’re letting her carry the burden alongside you, and she’s privileged whenever you offer a look into your heart with all pretenses laid aside. That’s because she wants to know and love you as you are.

3. growth-minded

Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.

— Proverbs 27:9 (NIV)

One mark of a healthy friendship is that you help one another grow (in contrast to a toxic relationship, where you capitalize on each others’ weaknesses). A friend loves you in your imperfections, but he doesn’t leave you there. While a friend doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable about who you are, he does encourage you to become a better version of yourself. He will gently nudge you forward by pointing out both strong and weak traits you might not have noticed. 

When you fail, a friend gives you grace, but also expects better from you because he knows what you’re capable of. In a good relationship, growth comes naturally. You’re not prodded by guilt, but motivated by grace. 

4. truthful

Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.

— Proverbs 27:5-6 (ESV)

Because she cares about you and wants what’s best for you, a friend will speak truth to you even when it’s uncomfortable. It might be hard for her to say, and it might be hard for you to hear, but she won’t purposefully tell you anything less than the truth. A friend won’t let you get away with believing lies about yourself, because she knows that truth is the only solid foundation on which to build a strong relationship.

(to be continued)