guest post by Cheryl Balcom
Dear sweet, naïve, crazy girl,
Put down the Aqua Net and listen to me.
You are allowing—even enjoying—the distraction of what is in front of you today to keep you from what’s true. You’re all caught up in what others think of you and how you are perceived. Right now, you think that to be happy and secure, you need to find a husband and/or a career. You are trying so hard to present yourself as one who is amusing, interesting, and generously tolerant so that people will like you. The things that seem so important right now will fade with perspective.
You don’t know who you are yet, because in your heart you haven’t solidified Whose you are. You’ve been taught the truth. But you’re not ready to surrender.
God will let you have your own way for a while longer. You have already felt his loving eyes upon you, because you’ve felt the tiny pricks of conviction that the way you are living is neither pleasing to him nor beneficial to you. But surrendering would mean you’d have to acknowledge your sins and reveal the flaws you’re afraid to see in the mirror. So you’ve ignored that feeling, and you’ve pushed it away so that you can be in control. So that you can have what you want the way you want it.
It’s the curse of all humankind: You want to call the shots.
But about a year from now, you will realize you can no longer ignore that conviction. You will surrender your heart completely to him, on your knees, on the very same carpet remnant absorbing all that hairspray right now. Whether you feel insecure or confident in this stage of life, don’t let yourself become the center. Center yourself on Christ.
Sweet girl, I know it seems preposterous that God will still love you after all the things you’ve done—things that you now realize were self-centered, immature, even dangerous. But that’s the truth. He loves you with an everlasting love.
And he will continue to love you. All of heaven will rejoice at your surrender, your confession, your acceptance of salvation, and that joy will be your strength in the years to come.
Because though you will marry your current college sweetheart and go on to have four children with him, life will not be easy. You have ideas and ideals for your future. You think you know how things should go. But there will be plenty of opportunities for you to cling to God in faith, places for which your short life experience could not prepare you.
Despite the dreamy wedding day, there will be marital conflicts. You will realize that your man is not perfect, and you will be surprised to learn that you are not perfect either. But the joy of knowing you are loved completely by your heavenly Father will sustain you—and equip you to love your spouse the way God loves you.
The picture-perfect family you envision will not be quite so perfect, but God will paint beauty into it still; yes, even through a miscarriage and a child born with mental and developmental challenges.
Eternity will never feel so real as when, in his sovereignty, God takes your beloved father sooner than you ever thought possible. Oh, the lessons he will teach you through this!
And every single strand of the hair you take such pride in now will fall out during chemo treatments for breast cancer in your early forties.
Through these trials, God will continue to shape and humble you, dear girl, imparting wisdom and love more satisfying than the best hair day. And he will hold you close—his word will be your strength, his gifts of grace your joy.
And oh, the joy he will bring! Right now, your eyes are focused on your reflection in the mirror, but once you fasten your focus on Christ, you will find joy in places you never expected!
🕆 In prayers scribbled into your journal twenty years previously, being answered by a faithful God.
🕆 In God’s grace as the third strand that holds your marriage together; you will see the security and laughter of thirty-plus years.
🕆 In the joy of seeing that special needs child grow into independence in ways you couldn’t fathom when she was small, recognizing his hand as the provider in every long day.
🕆 In God’s sustaining love and provision for your widowed mother.
🕆 In his healing sovereignty—the single reason you will beat cancer.
🕆 In the privilege of watching God’s hand move in the lives of all four of your children.
🕆 Most precious of all, in the sweetness that comes from knowing God intimately, in a friendship like no other.
He will comfort you when you are sad and give you peace to replace your angst, and his steadfast presence will sustain you.
You can’t see these things now, dear girl, as you put on an extra layer of mascara and fluff up your big hair one more time. But he loves you too much to let you stay where you are.
He will lovingly, wisely, powerfully shake up your world—you can count on that. What lies ahead will stretch you and soften you—and reveal the unshakable joy of being his.
Love,
55-year-old Cheryl
Cheryl Balcom is the author of Winds of Grace: Losing my Father, Surrendering Control, and Growing in Faith (available on Amazon.com), a memoir inspired by tracing the hand of God through the pages of her prayer journals. Cheryl also writes to help the perfectionist find peace in God’s perfect grace at cherylesperbalcom.com. She and her husband live on five acres tucked in the corner of southwest Michigan, where they enjoy watching wildlife wander through the yard.
I cannot describe how blessed I was by this beautiful letter. I was lying in my bed as I read it. It was morning. The noise maker was still on. I had a lot of angst in my heart that I had carried over from the night before, and as I read this, it was like I felt the peace of God envelope me, chasing away the worry and all the troubled feelings. I am not twenty just yet, but I think God has given this to me at just the right time, at a time of change and growth unlike anything I have ever experienced before. Thank you SO MUCH for this piece of wisdom, encouragement, and hope. I will treasure it forever.
Elizabeth, you are loved. I praise God that my words and his love were able to comfort you this morning. ❤️ -Cheryl