I’m Not the Author of My Story

I once heard songwriter Tony Wood say in an interview, “I’m not writing my own story.” That simple yet profound statement and the matter-of-fact way he said it stuck with me. We all need to be reminded of that truth from time to time, especially when unexpected plot twists come into our story. Accepting that we aren’t writing our stories can be difficult; knowing that the pen lies in another’s hands can be unsettling.

Think about it. If a story was about to be written and you were given the opportunity to choose between being the author of the story or being a character in it, which would you choose? I know which one I would choose, and it’s not only because I’m a writer. 

I would want to be the one writing the story because I like knowing what’s next and being in control of what happens. I don’t generally enjoy being surprised. I like things to go according to plan, or at least according to what I’ve pictured in my mind. And when I’m writing something, I can do that. When I’m writing something, I’m in charge of how it ends up. I can create an outline or a plot, then flesh it out by adding thoughts and ideas that fit the theme I’ve chosen. Even if it takes a different direction from what I originally intended, I can always go back and change it. I can take out parts I don’t like and add something better to replace them, rearrange the order of sentences and paragraphs, and reword awkward sections. That’s because I’m the author, so I can write it however I want.

But if I’m a character in a story, then things are totally different. I’m not the one in control. And I don’t like that so much.

Since I am a writer, I’m used to viewing stories from the author’s perspective. When I’m reading a story, I get caught up in the narrative just like everyone else, but as a writer, I also try to back up and take a birds-eye view of what I’m reading, searching for techniques I can implement and apply to my own writing. I observe the author’s style, pay attention to what I like, and then try to figure out what the author did to achieve that. 

So when I’m reading something, I’m thinking as the writer. How did he slow down the pace here? What made her description so vivid? What is it about his way with words that is distinct? How is she giving this story a different vibe compared to others she’s written? Where did he come up with this character? How is she foreshadowing what’s going to happen next? And so on.

That’s great when it comes to books, because it enables me to enjoy a book and learn how to improve my writing at the same time. But it’s a problem when I try to apply a similar perspective to my life. I’m not the author of my story; I’m a character in it—and not the main character, though it might feel that way sometimes. I am only one in the cast of humanity tasked with a role in the grand story God has been writing since the beginning.

looking through a literary lens

Viewing myself as a character in my story and not the author of it is something I’ve learned from reading fiction. When I immerse myself in a story, allowing myself to be carried along by the plot and following the character’s journey like it’s my own while also studying the narrative from a writer’s viewpoint, I get a glimpse of both sides of the story. 

When I think of myself as a character in my story, I’m reminded that there is an author, and I know that I can trust Him. There will be plot twists I can’t foresee, and sometimes it will look like things are spinning out of control. I’m not the one deciding when to introduce turns and detours. I’m not in charge of the ending or how things turn out in the meantime. 

That would be frightening if I didn’t know that a skilled and compassionate Author is writing my story. He knows what it’s like to be on both sides of the story, because He entered the narrative of creation as a character in His own story when He became a man. (A mind-boggling thought if ever there was one!) 

It’s comforting to know that even though I sometimes feel like I’ve been blindsided, nothing surprises the Author of my story. He has a purpose and a plan. He knows what’s ahead and how it all will end. I’m not the author. I’m not writing my story. I’m not directing the outline. And that’s alright, because I know who is the Author of my story.

The next time you read a story, I hope you’re reminded of the One writing yours.