One of my favorite books from this year—and one of the most impactful stories I’ve read—is Sara Brunsvold’s novel The Extraordinary Deaths of Mrs. Kip. (Don’t let the title scare you—it’s really about a life well-lived.) This book ties in beautifully with the theme of discipleship, because it poignantly portrays a mentoring relationship between the two main characters, Clara Kip and Aidyn Kelley.
Well-written stories turn general principles into specific pictures, and that’s exactly what this book did for me when it comes to discipleship. It paints a beautiful picture of what this kind of relationship can look like.
Mrs. Kip is an endearing character with many lessons to teach. I know I learned a lot from her as I read this story. There’s so much wisdom tucked into its pages, and I look forward to sharing some of it with you today. If you are a mentor (or if you want to be one), then this is for you.
(Please note that this post may contain some mild spoilers for The Extraordinary Deaths of Mrs. Kip.)
be all in
Going to Brazil was a treasured dream of Mrs. Kip’s heart, but at the end of her life, she found herself in Kansas. Even though she knew her dream of traveling to Brazil would never be fulfilled, she didn’t let that hinder her usefulness. Instead, she determined to see the nursing home in Kansas as a mission field where she was placed to serve God.
Mrs. Kip knew that she was not long for this earth, but she also knew that just because you are at the end of your life doesn’t mean you are at the end of your influence. You can serve God wherever you are, leaving ripples of impact that reach far beyond you. So choose to be all in wherever God places you, even if it’s not where you want to be. Trust that He is up to something—you never know what surprises He has tucked up His sleeve.
“‘You wanted to go to São Paulo to help those who were in need, who needed physical help but also help to know Jesus. And I know it disappointed you to not see that play out the way you dreamed it would. But I hope you also see, the way I do now, that although you weren’t called to a different continent to serve, a different continent was called to you so that you could serve right here where you were.’”1
lead a life worth following
One of Mrs. Kip’s desires was to leave a legacy of faith worth emulating. She didn’t have many material possessions at the end of her life, but she had the treasure of wisdom, and she wanted to pass it on.
You might be in a similar place and feel like you don’t have much of an inheritance to offer to those who come after you. But that’s not true. Don’t discredit the lessons you have to teach. You have so many gifts to give! As you pass on the treasures you’ve been entrusted with, you are privileged to be a part of God’s work in others’ lives.
“[Aidyn] had left in possession of every treasure Mrs. Kip could impart. Her story and her journals. Her friendship and her counsel. Her admiration of a city and her adoration of the Psalms. Her humility—and her desire to follow God wherever he led.”2
show compassion
Mrs. Kip constantly focused on the needs of those around her. She paid attention to others’ pain and sought to find a way to alleviate it whenever possible. She saw everyone she met as a friend, not neglecting the ones others might have been tempted to overlook. Guided by compassion, she sought to be a hand of healing in a world filled with hurt.
When you keep your eyes open to the needs of those around you, you will find that opportunities to bless and serve others abound. And while you can’t minister to every need, you can touch the lives of many if you are willing to let compassion color your perspective.
“[W]here there is pain, there is a calling.”3
grow in grace
A woman of grace only grows more graceful as she ages. Mrs. Kip was an example of this. She kept her dignity and poise even as her health declined, and her interactions with others were infused with grace.
By showing grace even to the undeserving, Mrs. Kip refused to let their lack of grace overcome the love that she showed. She showed respect to those under her and was gentle even in her rebukes.
focus on the good
As much as possible, Mrs. Kip sought out the good in those she interacted with. Her positive perspective and gentle sense of humor lightened the lives of those she touched. She often greeted people with a smile and word of encouragement, which worked wonders on many, drawing out the best in them like water from a deep well.
You never know what heavy load someone might be carrying. Why not lighten it for them? Call out the good qualities you see in them. You might be surprised at how this motivates them to become the person God is shaping them to be.
be creative
Every morning Mrs. Kip prayed for God to guide her and show her what work He had for her to do, and He never failed to answer. By staying in touch with the Spirit, Mrs. Kip also stayed in touch with creativity. The entire premise of the book is based on her creative idea to help Aidyn uncover her story.
Mrs. Kip loved seeing God’s hand in creation, and she helped others appreciate the beauty in nature as well. She held on to a childlike sense of wonder that kept her young at heart. Mrs. Kip also clung to her imagination. She used it in powerful ways throughout the story, recognizing it as a gift.
love authentically
One of the ways Mrs. Kip employed her creativity was in how she loved people. She recognized that each individual is different and needs to be loved in a way unique to them. So the way she mentored Aidyn, her young charge, was different from the way she ministered to Charles, a fellow resident.
Mrs. Kip knew that true love is the hardest yet most beautiful thing in the world, something worth sacrificing for. She resolved to invest all her energy in loving others to the best of her ability for however long she knew them, trusting that the reward would be well worth it.
“‘I did nothing amazing, Miss Kelley,’ she insisted. ‘Despite what you’ve been told. I simply tried to love people as best I could for as long as I was privileged to be with them. We don’t stay long in each other’s lives—that’s the crux of our humanness. You have to be the friend people need while they are there with you, because it’s the only chance you’ll get.’”4
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