The Part You Play: Of Worship Teams and Relationships 

Playing the piano has taught me a lot about relationships. 

Specifically, playing with others.

Let me explain.

For years, I played by myself. This meant I could change the tempo whenever I wanted, work through challenging parts as many times as I needed to, and add my own flair without having to worry about being in sync with someone else.

Then about a year ago, I joined our church’s worship team. I expected it to be an adjustment, and it was. Those first few times were rough. I felt like I was floundering in a stormy sea without a lifesaver in sight. 

After a while, though, it got easier. And along the way, I’ve learned a lot about relationships.

Today, I’d like to share ten of those lessons with you.

(1) There’s something special about “together.”

A solo instrument or singer can be beautiful, but bands and choirs have a beauty all their own. Being in a group that plays well together brings the distinct joy of being part of something greater than yourself. 

In the beginning, God said it was not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). I believe this hardwiring for relationships is why we find a kind of delight in community we don’t find anywhere else.

(2) Groups bring out gifts you might not know you had.

Playing with others has stretched my skills and made me grow more quickly than I would on my own. It turns out I’m capable of more than I thought, but I would never have found out if I had only played by myself. Being given a place on the stage has prompted me to bring my best.

“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.” 

— Ephesians 4:15-16

(3) Groups invite you into a stream of grace.

As the newest member of the group, I didn’t want to break their flow. In order for the new dynamic I added to work, we all needed to be patient with each other.

Relationships are a means of giving and receiving the grace God provides (1 Peter 4:10–11). In this way, we can consider them a ministry. 

(4) Relationships require you to focus on others while keeping watch on yourself.

What made things hard for me the first couple times was that I could only hear the other instruments and singers, not myself. I was perplexed. How was I supposed to be in harmony with everyone else when I couldn’t hear myself? “It will get easier,” others assured me. “You’ll learn how to listen to others and yourself at the same time.”

Really? How? 

They were right. After a few times, I could keep an ear toward the others while keeping track of my part. I needed to do both, because if I only focused on myself or them, I might fall into discord—for different reasons, but with the same result. 

It’s the same with relationships: we have to be sensitive to others while watching ourselves (Galatians 6:1–5).

(5) In groups, we fill in each others’ blanks.

Listening to others enables me to figure out what they’re doing and play something complimentary. The guitar carries one pattern, and I offer another. The drums keep the beat, so I don’t need to worry about that. The singers have the melody, so I don’t have to play it. I can bring harmonious patterns that flow around the rest. 

No one can do everything, but everyone can do something.

(6) In groups, we push each other forward.

Sometimes one person starts playing or singing more enthusiastically. Soon everyone else joins in. Other times someone slows down or softens, and the rest follow. When a band interprets a song, each member contributes to the living dynamic. 

Our attitudes affect others, so let’s keep watch on our hearts (Hebrews 3:12–13).

(7) Relating well takes practice.

There’s a reason why we have rehearsals. It takes practicing several times before we fall into rhythm. 

Just as we don’t play together perfectly the first time, neither do we get relationships right on the first try. That’s what forgiveness is for (1 Peter 4:8).

(8) Relating well requires creativity.

Playing with others calls for constant creativity. Sometimes the accompaniment I imagined for a certain song doesn’t fit the way the rest are playing it, so I have to adjust. Each song calls for something different, and no two performances are alike.

Learning to love well takes all the creativity you can muster, because it looks different for every person you meet.

(9) Each of us brings something unique.

“We are most effective when we see, appreciate and rely on the complementary strengths, abilities and perspectives of others. We can only do this if we have a clear sense of who we are and the gracious humility to accept who we are. But it also comes in celebrating the strengths and abilities of others. We are not threatened and we refuse to feel diminished by the character strengths and abilities of others; rather, we celebrate them and depend on them.” 

— Gordon T. Smith

Each member has a unique approach. We have to keep in mind that the goal isn’t to be just like everyone else, but to blend our gifts in a beautiful mingling of differences (Ephesians 4:7–14).

(10) We need to build on our strengths.

“[W]e are most effective when we focus on what God created us to do. When we identify our strengths and build on them, we’re faithful stewards of what He’s given us. To forsake our gifts in order to spend time and energy in areas of weakness sets us up for disappointment and ineffectiveness. It is not selfish to use our gifts. We serve the world best when we give what we’re best at.” 

— Jocelyn Green

Appreciating and drawing on others’ strengths doesn’t mean we deny or suppress our own. Instead, we must learn to use our strengths to bless others. That’s part of why God gave them to us.

So whatever group you’re in, keep practicing. Keep showing grace in the relationships in your life. The part you play matters.